Which Premier League football team are YOU?
Do you possess a ruthless streak that draws parallels with champions Chelsea? Or are you frequently subjected to humiliating beatings like Wigan?
Take our survey and find out which Premier League team you are!
| 1. Do you have alot of money? | |
|---|---|
| YES - It's literally coming out of every orifice. | |
| NO - I've barely got two pennies to rub together. | |
| OTHER - I find this question rude and offensive. | |
| 2. Do you live-in the shadow of a big brother or sister? | |
| YES - I actually think I might be the milkman's such is the difference. | |
| NO - As if. Sibling Uno Numero all the way. | |
| OTHER - We're all the same. Success, like haemoglobin, runs in the blood. | |
| 3. Do you have rivals? | |
| YES - Like you wouldn't believe. Everyone wants a piece of me. | |
| NO - No not one. I'm not sure if anyone knows who I am. | |
| OTHER - The neighbours kids are a pain, but it could be worse. | |
| 4. Do you believe that money can buy you happiness? | |
| YES - Her name is Coco and she does amazing things with Ping Pong balls. | |
| NO - I haven't got a pot to piss in, but I'm still smiling. | |
| OTHER - In the words of Indie rockers Gomez: "It's not the be all and end all" | |
| 5. Is family important to you? | |
| YES - Without them I am nothing. | |
| NO - Pah! All I get is grief. | |
| OTHER - Christmas and Easter. That's your lot. | |
| 6. Do you like travelling around Europe? | |
| YES - I have been known to enjoy a red velvet cupcake from the Magnolia Bakery | |
| NO - Never been out of the country. Don't know what all the fuss is about. | |
| OTHER - I once won a holiday to Rome. Hated it. | |
| 7. Do you regulary disappoint your family? | |
| YES - I'm not so much the black sheep as the unrepentant square peg of the family. | |
| NO - They would be nothing without me. | |
| OTHER - I don't care what they think. They're part of the problem, not the solution. | |
| 8. Do you enjoy going to work? | |
| YES - Wild horses wouldn't keep me away. | |
| NO - The pressure is often too much for me to bear. | |
| OTHER - It's a job. I get paid. Could be worse, could be better. | |
| 9. Do you ever lose your temper? | |
| YES - What sort of stupid f**king question is that? | |
| NO - I'm a lover not a fighter. | |
| OTHER - Every now and then I dish out the Hairdryer Treatment. | |
| 10. Are you happy? | |
| YES - My life is brilliant. | |
| NO - Every day is a constant struggle. | |
| OTHER - The prozac helps. | |
| 11. Do people ever refer to you as the 'Special One'? | |
| YES - To make the best omelette you need a quality egg. | |
| NO - They say every dog has his day and one day soon I will have m woof day. | |
| OTHER - Special One? No. Special Needs? Yep. |
